I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
