Three words: puerto rican gang bang
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
