what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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