Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
