He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
