That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
