Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
