I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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