I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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