I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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