Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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