Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
