You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
