me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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