is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
