Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
