Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
