yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And then my night got REAL pukey
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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