How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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