just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
