eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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