The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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