she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
