there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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