i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
