Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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