I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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