Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
are you so shy because you have an std?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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