No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
