If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
