fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
