If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
