What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
