I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
