Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
