This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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