I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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