plz talk dirty to me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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