just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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