Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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