would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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