Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
