Sry I called you an 8
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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