are you still at the devil's house?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
