i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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