i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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