Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
