She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
