Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
