Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
