I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
